YOU WAITED TOO LONG

After nearly a year away from the mic, Shea returns to Subconsciously with one of her most honest and reflective episodes yet. “You Waited Too Long” explores what it feels like to believe you’ve missed your chance—to think you’re behind in life, that the opportunities you once dreamed of have already passed, or that everyone else is moving forward while you’re still standing still.

In this deeply personal conversation, Shea opens up about her own journey through self-doubt, comparison, and creative burnout. She revisits the part of her story where music once defined her purpose, and how stepping away from it made her question her identity. But through faith, healing, and a quiet rediscovery of passion, she learns that waiting isn’t wasted time—it’s preparation.

This episode touches on the quiet moments we don’t talk about enough: the feeling of being stuck, the fear of starting over, and the courage it takes to finally move when you’ve been standing still for too long. Shea reflects on performing again for the first time in three years, confronting imposter syndrome head-on, and realizing that growth often happens in the background while we’re still doubting ourselves.

In this episode, Shea shares:

• How to recognize when you’re keeping yourself “stuck” out of fear or comfort
• Why waiting doesn’t mean failure—it means you’re still becoming
• The importance of opening up to others and shifting perspective
• How to create new opportunities when it feels like you’ve missed your chance
• A personal story of returning to the stage after years of silence

If you’ve ever felt late to your own life, this episode is your reminder that there is no missed timing—only divine timing. You’re not behind. You’re right on schedule.

Follow Shea on Instagram for updates and reflections:
 @scoopsubconsciously | @sheagelowitz

Transcript

SHEA: Welcome to Subconsciously. My name is Shea and this is a place where I let my subconscious thoughts do the talking. 

Hi guys. Welcome back to Subconsciously and my name is Shea and it's so nice to just sit down and finally, after a whole year has almost passed, sit with you guys and just catch up. Last time I talked to you, I was going through something, it was a little bit of a testimony and now I'm here to just lay it out on the table. 
If my equipment sounds a little bit more different, don't worry about it. I'm trying out some different things right now. It's a bit weird, but stick with me nonetheless. 

You're probably wondering what is the dive after being away for so long? And ironically, the title of this pod episode is you waited too long. Yes, you have waited as a listener for, when was the last time I posted? February.
So that's March, April, May, June, July, August, September, October. You waited nine months. In nine months, you could have formed a baby.

You waited too long and it's time for me to just dump out my subconscious because a lot has happened and it excites me. But yes, you waited too long. It's a double entendre, not only for you as my friend who is listening to this lovely podcast, but you waited too long as in a very long awaited episode, but also you waited too long as the idea of being stuck in a position where you think you weren't on time in life or feel like you waited too long and missed a chance or opportunity. I've had this idea, this double entendre, if you will, in my head for the past month and I keep saying, "oh, I'm going to sit down, oh, I'm going to sit down, I'm going to do this pod episode", but I just haven't been in a mindset to fully explain it thoroughly until this very moment on October 15th.

Yes, we are discussing the idea of being stuck in a place where you think you weren't on time or you waited too long and you feel like everyone around you is moving on with their lives where you're kind of still stuck in the same position and you're like, "Why? Why does it feel like that?"

And so from personal experience, I want to tell you, you are not too late. You are not just stuck in a position. You are not in a place where a chance or opportunity has slipped you by and if it feels like that, I want to remind you that whatever age you are, no matter male, female, background, anything like that, I want you to know that you are exactly where you need to be. And how did I get to that conclusion? First and foremost, I should probably tell you why I was even thinking about it.

So with the pod and with life and with opportunity, as you guys know from an earlier episode, I talked about a quote-unquote failed career in music. I felt like all I wanted to do was music. All I wanted to do with my life is dedicated to music, yet I barely even stepped my foot in before I took my foot out of the pool, I guess. I dipped my toes in the pool when it came to music and then I just kind of let it falter. And then I felt like I was watching all of my friends kind of get into the groove with what they want to do with their life. Maybe it was spiritual. Maybe it was career. Maybe it was family. Maybe it was relationships. Maybe it was just a personal goal of theirs and I was watching them succeed and it's not to say I was jealous. It's not to say I was envious or that I wished I was them, but in a deep part of my subconscious, I asked myself, "was there an opportunity or a chance that I just overlooked? And I waited too long. I waited too long to do it. Now it's boring. Now it's not relevant. What if I waited too long and I can't even get my foot in the door when it was wide open and now it's just a crack open?"

Y'know, there were so many moments in the past couple of months where I asked myself, did I wait too long? Did I miss that chance? Did I miss that opportunity to go be successful in different ways of leveling success? Y'know, success could be as simple as I have a established routine and I don't want to destroy it. It can be as successful as you got a promotion in your job. It can be as successful as saying you're a millionaire. It can be as successful as saying I'm living my dream. But there was a moment in time where I felt I waited too long. 

And when I kind of stepped back and realized I am not that person nor will I ever be, it kind of got easier for me because I realized what I was doing was putting myself in a frame of mind where, "oh, that thing could never happen for me because that's just who they are because they're meant to go succeed. Oh, they're meant to go live that dream. They're meant to do this or do that." And I was putting myself in a horrible box. I was putting myself in kind of the victimizing mindset that sometimes we tend to do when life isn't going our way.

And it made me realize the only reason why I felt stuck was because I was the one gluing myself in place. And when I realized that maybe, oh, maybe I'm the problem here, maybe I need to unsuperglue myself from my zone of comfort and finally go outside and realize that that opportunity is still waiting for me too. But did I go out and find it? I don't know. Did I? Was everything just happening to that other person and I was just watching it when I could have just, you know, been in conversation with them? I don't know. 

I've had many moments in my life where I felt that it was just meant for someone else. I felt that imposter syndrome of feeling like I finally get to a place where I call successful and I just want to tear it down because someone else is already living it, or I feel as though I'm not worthy of living it. So I tear myself down. But what I realized about self-talk, especially negative self-talk, is that the only enemy that can possibly, minus the world, obviously, and hate comments and, you know, personal negatives that run through your head, really the only person stopping you from doing what you want to do is you. And if it does come from family or it does come from your upbringing or it comes from your circumstance, you need to realize whatever is pushing you backwards, you need to push back and you need to be able to be courageous enough to say, "I am going to do this. I understand if it will make you upset. I understand if it's not your dream, but it's mine."

And sometimes what we end up in in these weird circumstances, when we feel like we miss an opportunity or we missed a chance, is deep inside we have to come to that conclusion that yes, there are going to be moments where you feel like you waited too long, where you feel like it's not good enough. What you put out there is not good enough, but what I've come to realize with opportunity is sometimes you create your own opportunity. If you feel like one slipped you by, it's time to create one. It's time to step out your comfort zone. Like for me, for the longest time, it was music. 

And I guess a little update. We all know my lovely, lovely artist friend, Marzia. What I felt like I was doing in our friendship sometimes, and I blatantly explained this on one of our pod episodes that I felt like we were constantly being compared to one another and that's what made me feel stuck, was I was mentally putting myself in a place of comparison, but not in a good comparison, in a way that destroyed any type of passion I had towards music in terms of wanting to put myself out there. It was that imposter syndrome again.

But anyways, besides the point, we went to this place that she was performing at, this nice place in Vancouver. It's like a speakeasy bar, I guess you could call it. And it was the first time in three years since going through grief, since losing an ex, since losing friends, that I actually put myself on a stage. And I sang. I sang for a bunch of people for the first time in three years with Jaz and MJ. And I felt so confident and that was something that I felt I waited so long to do when I could have just seized the moment and performed so long ago. But I think it was so needed to nurture myself and heal the parts that I felt anxious towards, that I felt hatred towards, and realize I love this. I have a passion for this and that no person, no matter what they feel, no matter what they're going through, whatever it may be, I am happy doing this because I love it. 

And this was what I was stuck on for so long. I was making lists in my room of what do I love, what do I not like, what type of fashion do I like, what type of things make me laugh, what do I look for in a partner, what do I look for in a job, what do I look for in myself that I would love to be surrounded by. What is it? And I took these three years and it was hard. It was a very hard three years to sit with, but I don't think I'd be the person I am if I didn't ask those questions. If I didn't say why, why do I feel stuck? And then dive more into it and more into it and more into it. And then I realized at some point I just got burnt out with asking the question why. And then I felt like I waited too long to ask myself why.

I was just, I came to a realization the other day and I was thinking about waiting and sometimes how useless it can feel to wait for something or be patient for an opportunity or be patient for anything in life really. I started questioning myself of why is it so important to wait? Why is it so important to ask that question? And I came up with this realization the other day that I think there was a point in my life where I was just patiently waiting to die. This is going to take a really wild leap, so stick with me. I had this really deep subconscious thought where I asked myself, "why didn't I start going to the gym? Why didn't I start asking why someone treats me like that?
Why didn't I, why, why, why?" And then I realized the reason why I never questioned anything, the reason why I never really sat down and asked myself why I waited so long is because I was patiently waiting to die. I was patiently waiting for my life to come to an end and just call it a day. I didn't think I was going to get to this point of now I'm living a life that's worth living.I didn't think I was going to get to a point where I've, I was religious or like spiritual or have faith. I didn't think I would get to a point where. I was actually close with my family. I never thought I would get to a place where I feel confident in myself and in my abilities and what I can do.

Instead I stayed stuck in the mindset of nothing's really gonna change anyway so why try? And then deeper in that subconscious the root of it all was I was patiently toe die and that is such a dark, dark thing to say and and speak into existence because I don't feel that way now and I just want to tell you if you have come to that realization the reason why things haven't changed is because you are patiently waiting to die. I want to tell you there are so many reasons as to why you should move on from that thought, from that mindset because truly things don't open up until you do. And I also I'm speaking to your soul right now, if I'm speaking to you and you feel this, I want you to know there is a life worth living just right for you. It may not be right in your parents eyes, it might not be right in your siblings, your friends, your family, your co-workers.It may be the most out-of-the-box thinking ever but I'm telling you nothing opens up until you do. 

Those relationships don't change unless you want to shift your way of thinking. If you're always gonna go around thinking oh my mom always thinks like this oh my dad will never change he's too hard-headed oh I can never get that promotion because I'm not as good as the other person and all these thoughts start to line up and you start believing in these thoughts and you start believing that there is no way out and there's no change it's because you haven't opened up yet. You haven't fully asked yourself is the reason why I'm thinking that about these people or about this situation or that I can't achieve something is it because I haven't shifted my point of view?

Have you tried opening up to your mom? Have you tried getting your dad to see your point of view in a soft manner where you're not yelling at each other? Have you put in that little extra work and made it known that you were the one to do it so no other person can steal your work? Have you been the one to open yourself up to these opportunities?

That's what I asked myself and then when I started to open up a little bit more, when I told my mom how I was feeling what I went through back then, I realized how human we were to each other. When I told my dad about the things that were bothering me and what was making me closed off he opened up about what he was going through and how his reactions sometimes create a hard-headedness. When I talked to my boss about certain things that I was feeling or you know what I was going through and I opened up about it, did it change my relationship with them? Did it change with my co-workers or did I stay in the same routine not being able to get out?

Cause as you guys know I'm a community support worker. I work with people with mental and physical disabilities. It can get very challenging. It can get very it can get to a point where I am burnt out over things I never thought I'd be burnt out about. You can be burnt out going swimming just because the person that you're with doesn't want to get out of the pool and you're on a time crunch because you've got to get back. Or it could be the fact that maybe they're just challenging you and your own perspectives and the simple things of that. Little things add up in this job but I realized when I would start this burnout cycle again I realized it was because I needed a little bit of a change. I needed a shift in perspective that I could learn from because when you're put in a situation where you're stuck all the time and then you're put in a situation at work which can easily be changed it helps your mind a little bit more. It helps you understand how to go back to that situation and put a new twist on it.

And so when I did open up to my boss at that time I was just saying I think I'm getting a little burnt out. I think I just need some time whether it be a week whether it be a day, I just need a new fresh perspective. And then after I opened up guess what? Change happened. Because here's the thing sometimes people don't want to change or they think it's okay in the situation that they're in until an issue and or a thought-provoking thing comes up and then you they kind of try to see your point of view because they don't get what it's like to walk in your shoes or you don't know what it's like to walk in theirs but although you may be looking at the same thing you don't have the same level of detail that the other person sees or the level of detail that you see. And again this has gone so off-topic but waiting. 

Waiting can sometimes feel like a hospital room, stay with me. A hospital room. You're there for hours, you might be there for days, you're just waiting for someone to call your name so you can get help. And I understand that feeling very well. I understand that it can feel like everything's going to crap. It feels like there's nothing nothing at all that can be changed. But that moment of relief when you do finally hear your name. Do you know that feeling of over joyness over what's the word I'm looking for that over excitement when you get your name called in a hospital room because you know you're moving to a different room but it feels like you leveled up because you're not in the same room, that's what it feels like when you waited too long.

Because here's the thing when you get in that mindset of that "you waited too long" you get in that perspective that you're in that box, that waiting room ,that first initial waiting room when you get in that hospital and you're just waiting for them to call your name so it's an upgrade to the next room. Of course it's not any better than the room that you were in but you're moving and that's what I want you to take out of this is that you didn't wait too long to seize an opportunity it's just you're moving through these rooms very slowly. Baby steps but do you know you're still gonna get where you need to as long as you took in the step as long as you've taken the chance and or opportunity to put yourself out there to even put yourself in the waiting room. 

I don't know guys I don't know but that is my thoughts on that. I don't know how I managed to take the most simplest thought and expand on it but I know you you guys heard me say you waited too long you waited too long for too long so I really enjoyed talking to you guys I really enjoyed this feeling of just letting out this thought. hopefully I'll be able to make a new episode for you guys very soon and I pray that you can continue to follow me on this subconsciously journey it's been a minute and I just needed I think I needed to reflect on if this was the right path for me and I think this still is so. Guys where can you find me when I'm not here well I do have an Instagram page it is scoop subconsciously on Instagram but I've actually been more active on my main account which is S-H-E-A-G-E-L-O-W-I-T-Z or scoop subconsciously on Instagram I won't lie I've been lacking in terms of content maybe because I'm slowly going to be changing things up really soon. So we'll see how it goes and again more secret projects to come but I really hope you truly truly took an insight or maybe even related. My DMS are always open you guys know that already but guys I can't wait to talk to you guys in the next episode where my subconscious thoughts do the talking 

bye guys!